Write Sympathy Card

Policy shift in presidential condolence letters

NEW YORK - Most families who lose a loved one in the war zones receive a letter of condolence from the President of the United States. But there are a few who do not receive this honor. It's long standing policy - going back many years - that troops who commit suicide in war do not get the president's acknowledgment.

"I had doubts - many, many doubts," Gregg Keesling said. "We are very pleased."

Last week, Keesling got the call he'd waited nearly two years to receive from the White House.

He learned his family's long wait for acknowledgement from the commander-in-chief was almost over.

"My oldest son came down and we had a hug and it was very emotional," Keesling said. "It was a very good moment that this has been worth it."

Honor denied some families of fallen troops

Since the suicide of his son, 25-year-old Army Specialist Chance Keesling, in Iraq, Gregg and his wife Jannett, have fought to receive a condolence letter. They've written to the president, and asked their local congressmen for help.

Speaking of his son, Keesling said, "He was a good soldier and that's the part that I want to know -- that the country appreciates that he fought he did everything that he was asked to do. It didn't turn out well for him, but at least this country could write a simple letter and that president represents our country and just say thank you for our son's service."

Keesling's now been told he'll receive some kind of recognition from the White House - though not an official presidential condolence letter - in memory of his son.

Chance Keesling shot himself on his second tour in Iraq. Chance had previous emotional problems, and became despondent after a fight with his girlfriend.

Under a decades-old White House policy, inherited by the Obama administration, military families received letters from the president only if their loved ones died on the battlefield or in accidents in war zones.

Now, the policy is changing, Gregg Keesling told us recently, and for families like his, the acknowledgement is long overdue.

"I do think this is about doing what is the right thing and I feel that to the core of my being this is about justice for my son Chance Keesling," Gregg said.

How to Write Sympathy Cards or Letters | Sympathy Card Wording Guide

Proper sympathy card or letter etiquette allows you to learn the correct things to do when death occurs. There are cases when the best way of offering your sympathies is through sending a sympathy card or letter. If you will be attending the funeral, sometimes signing on the register is not enough so you feel the need to express your condolences and offer a more personal message through a sympathy card or letter.

After you sign at the funeral home register, you could offer your sympathy to the bereaved family personally or else you could simply leave a sympathy card or letter. If you are sending a sympathy card or letter in behalf of your whole family, you should get everyone to sign personally before sending it. Although your message should be short, try to include a brief quote or anecdote about the departed. This will indicate how much the deceased will be missed not only by the family but friends and colleagues as well.

Sympathy cards, letters, personal condolences, flowers and memorial assistance should be acknowledged with a thank you note. Today, with the convenience of email, you may send an online sympathy card and include a personal message. This is another option if you feel that sending a physical card could take long. Nevertheless, you should consider sending a sympathy card or letter to show your sincere sympathies to the persons in grief.

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